Starting Over, Financially

why it is not the end of the world

At times life gets right in our face and we must dig deep to find what we really believe and what we are made of.

First, take a deep breath and remember that where there is breath, there is life, and where there is life there is hope.

Sounds like it is an end of a chapter, for sure, but not the end of the world. You lost a good job, which puts you in the company of thousands of your compatriots. Take an honest look at what (if anything) you did to lose the job and vow to either change or look for a better fit next time . If it's a sitch where the company or industry just fell on bad times: can you look back and ID red flags that you might look for in the future so you can have more control of whether you get laid off or leave before things come to that? The value of experience comes in what we learn from it! My guess is there is something to learn about yourself and about the business/company/or industry and you will feel more 'empowered' (apologies for bizspeek) when you find the lessons. Seriously, show me a wise person, and I'll show you a person who's been through some difficult experience!!

OK, you've lost a fiancee'. All the same soul searching applies here, but also this:

This is the end of a relationship, but not the end of the world. Divorce is always devestating and often financially expensive. If your engagement didn't survive these hard times, sorry but the outlook for the marriage probably wasn't better. If that sounds negative, I don't mean it to be. As someone who's gone through a 'clean' divorce, I'm happy for you that you've been spared that.

Your business - like most new small businesses - went under. Read bios of successfull business people - you'll find a rare few who did not experience a few failed enterprises before hitting on success. Nobody bats 1.000! Curiosity killed the cat; PERSEVERENCE brought it back!!

So you have debt, some of it apparently from medical bills. Here's why that's not the end of the world: none of your bills include funeral expenses. You still have you. Better or worse than before? Who's to say? Different? maybe. But that's OK. When you come out of the grief that such hard times naturally demand, you'll realize that you still have a lot to work with and a lot to be grateful for. While it may be humbling to be in your 30s and back living with the 'rents, it does not have to be humiliating. How lucky to have that soft spot to land! If it's more appealing than a shelter or boarding house, it's a blessing. In most states, foster children 'age out' of the system at 18 and are on their own, with no such safety net as you (and I) have.

Crazy as it may sound, you might benefit from looking for an opportunity to volunteer in your area. As the late, great Tim Russert was fond of saying, "there is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching down to lift another up."

All the best; you're in my prayers tonight.

tara rochford of IL @ Jun 30, 2008 01:35:10 AM