Establish Ownership in the College Planning Process

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Kids can grow a lot from taking on the college search and application process on their own; the trouble is, many are reluctant, too busy, or even afraid to get started.
From my point of view as a school counselor, it often takes someone from outside the immediate family to get students moving, to show them what kind of "college fit" research to do and how to do it efficiently, and to help them reflect more deeply on what they discover. Private schools—and the few public schools that have the funds--hire trained college admission counselors to jump-start this process and to help students stay on track. The best counselors help students buy into the process, by linking college selection research to career-interest surveys and work-values assessments that help young adults discover who they are and what careers they might be best suited for. Teenagers love to learn about themselves; it’s a primary developmental task at that age. Let’s use that curiosity to get them involved.
The article stresses that researching colleges and sorting out why to attend a particular school can help students develop insight and self-knowledge, as well as independence. This makes total sense: the more thinking students do up front about what they want from the college experience, the more they will get out of college once they get there. But from many parents’ point of view, students won't do “all that it takes” if left to themselves. That’s the dilemma: on the one hand, students are told they need to take on this challenge themselves, but if left completely on their own, many find reasons to do something else with their time. Parents get increasingly anxious, and eventually they jump in and take over, to make sure something gets done before the application deadlines hit.
Sometimes a sensitive, trained outsider's advice can cut through the "I don't need your help"/"Oh yes you do" feedback loop. Once the student starts viewing the college-search process as a way to see into themselves, the growth their parents hoped for will develop naturally, on its own.

Marco DeGaetano of CO 12:33PM May 10, 2011

I agree wholeheartedly, particularly with this statement: "After all, the parents aren't going to college—it is the student who must compete for admission. And it is the student, who, based on the strength of credentials and preparation, will be given the opportunity to test skills at the next level educationally."
I co-own one of those companies that nervous parents hire to help their children prepare for college admissions. My partner and I are professional writers and teachers; as we guide our students through the essay-writing process, we tell parents again and again, "Your child has a story to tell in her own voice, and in her own words. Step back and let her find her way."
We remind parents that the application marks the transition between everything the student accomplished in high school and whatever comes next. As risky as it may feel, this is the perfect time to let go.
We reassure our students that while we know a lot, we don't have all the answers. It is our job to help them write down what they want to share with admissions committees; the stories already reside within them. That is also why we don't "fix" essays. Instead, we guide our students through a process;we know from experience that the best writing is a journey of discovery. Just like college.
As you put it so well, "(Young adults) need to recognize—and seize—the opportunities for reasons that are important to them and no one else." Thanks for an important article.

Susan Knoppow of MI 10:44AM May 10, 2011