Parents, Read This if Your Child Is Applying to College

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My two boys are graduating college in May. Neither of them know what they want to do. Found this book yesterday. I’m hoping it will spur them on. “You Have A College Degree, Now What?” http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0578044048/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp

latisha of CA 12:36PM April 09, 2010

This was informative and reassuring. I have a son in college and a daugther in High School, and I found the information in this blog to be in tune with my own experience. During his senior year in High School, my son struggled with the typical 3 to 4 hours of daily homework plus the rigors of being a 3 sport athlete. His High School did an excellent job of coaching students through the college search/applicatioin process. I found that the most helpful thing I could do was help my son clear up his schedule. He and I cut a deal where I took over most of his chores (mowing the lawn, raking leaves, doing dishes, and cooking on Wednesday nights), so he'd have time for college applications. The condition was that the time I freed up for him had to be spent on college applications. Looking back, the extra chores not only freed up his time, it kept me out of his hair so he could do the process on his own.

Nick of ME 1:15PM December 28, 2009

What a great article- lots of great advice. For those concerned about tuition costs, I would add that it can be wise to find something reputable and worthy of your son or daughter's time that would both 1) promote a good cause and help build some part of the funds by learning to build a simple business and 2) have the be very flexible and yet add purpose and fulfillment.
This is perhaps the best I've seen for this http://businessintobenevolence.com

Tim of MO 6:27PM December 19, 2009

In my work with families in the college process, I try to bring them around to the understanding that they are cheerleaders but not players in their child's application process. The process belongs to the student, not to the parent, guidance counselor, or independent consultant. Marty O'Connell's comment about being a Hummingbird, not a Helicopter is right on target. We need to let our kids know that the process is one of which they are capable; that if they did all they could in the high school years, they will end up at the right college for them; and, most importantly, the search is about fit and match and not about trophy hunting. It is parents, I have found, who are most invested in the trophy hunt seeing it as a commentary on their parenting skills. Nothing could be further from the truth. Good advisors (parents, guidance counselors, and independent educational consultants) facilitate the learning process for the student by increasing the student's understanding of the process and helping the student to meet the deadlines for completion of the required work to apply.

Charlotte Klaar of MD 1:37PM December 11, 2009

Just to be clear Larry, these guidelines came from Marilee Jones, former admissions dean of MIT. Jacobs and Hyman invited her to write this blog, and I agree with you, her guidelines are outstanding.

Jamie Mac of TN 8:11AM December 11, 2009

It would be hard to improve upon these eight guidelines, simply put, from Professors Jacobs and Hyman. Clarity of expression such as this is so often a reflection of real understanding. Thank you for getting it down so cogently.

Larry Blumenstyk of NJ 7:33AM December 11, 2009

It seems like Steven didn't even read the blog. She is obviously describing that parents should be involved. Did you read the part that said "Your job is to lift your child up, not bring him or her down." That sounds like encouragement to me.
Or did you write your comment to plug your own personal business? It really seems like you are actually agreeing with her, but starting the comment as if you are disagreeing. Shame on you for that phoniness.
I read an article about you purposely telling kids to insert typos in their applications, to fake the "authenticity" that colleges are looking for nowadays. It makes you seem shallow and corrupt.
You prove that again by claiming disagreement while actually agreeing to what she said. Your comment is confusing and in poor taste.
I'd take Marilee's advice any day over yours any day. She was the dean at MIT - you weren't the dean of anything.
I like Marty's comment. She gets it.

Lee Soto of CA 8:11PM December 10, 2009

In my presentations to parents of college-searching students, I ask them to hover like hummingbirds-not helicopters:to nurture and love their kids and recognize when it is time to let them learn to fly (and sometimes fall) on their own. Too often parents look back and say, "If I would just have trusted that it would all work out, I wouldn't have made life so miserable and stressful for my kids when they were applying to college!" Marty O'Connell, Executive Director, Colleges That Change Lives

Marty O'Connell of MD 8:28PM December 09, 2009