I just hate when things don't go my way. Sure, I may be worth $3 billion (thanks to founding Facebook) and Bill Gates is like, totally my BFF, but I feel as if everyone is out to get me. First these children sue me because they say I stole their idea, and now a Harvard alumni magazine wants to publish my previous diary entries! Just because I compared my neighbors to farm animals doesn't make me a horrible person. I am, as you know, rich.