The Paper Trail

Live Elephant = Ultimate Home Field Advantage

By Alison Go

November 9, 2007 RSS Feed Print

The University of Alabama's student government is worried about school spirit at football games—and a live elephant may just be their heaven-sent solution, the Crimson White reports. A government resolution points out that other SEC schools like Tennessee (hound dog, 70 pounds), Louisiana State (tiger, 520 pounds), and Auburn (eagle, 14 pounds) have their own live mascots; why shouldn't 10,000 pounds of pachyderm march for the Crimson Tide?

Student officials will begin researching the logistics of an "Operation Crimson Dumbo Drop," since, as you can imagine, "you can't just throw an elephant in the middle of the Quad," points out one student. "It has to be thought through."

Tags:
University of Alabama,
Southeastern Conference

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XiKDkd

Gcdbiiot of HI 5:08PM July 14, 2009

Whoever "thought through" the idea of an elephant mascot for Alabama surely came up with info that these animals have immense needs and do, as the previous comments ntoes, really need companions, tons of food and water, plenty of roaming room and humane care. Perhaps an elepahtn costume on plenty of students would do as well.

P Cassidy of RI 11:21AM December 10, 2008

So the students of UA want to have the biggest animal on earth -- to flaunt to opponents!

One student has the right idea.... "It has to be thought through."

I'm sure the committee to investigate a mascot of this size will, no doubt, find an elephant to be the most undesirable. The elephant is a "family animal" that requires companions of the same species... many companions. The HERDs of elephants seen on the African plains are not grouped together by chance. It is imprinted within their genetics to be a member of a HERD. Mothers and offspring, along with her many female relatives, will be life-long members of a HERD.

A single elephant in captivity cannot be a member of a HERD. Elephants held in captivity will develop unnatural behaviors and may create unforeseen 'issues'. Are you ready to deal with an angry elephant bent on its own freedom?

The intelligence of the committee will over-rule any action to bring a lone elephant to campus. A single elephant, held in captivity, is plainly against the animal's natural instincts. I'm sure the decision will be to DROP "Operation Crimson Dumbo Drop".

Thanks,

-- DJ --

Midwest USA

DJ H. of MO 11:25AM December 01, 2007

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