*Housing authorities at Brown University are doling out $100 fines for candles, the No. 1 cause of dorm fires, the Brown Daily Herald reports. One official called candle-hiders "pathetic," yet the severe punishment has drawn mostly jeers from students. "Room inspectors are coming," joked one. "Hide your alcohol bottles under your candles."
*More than a week before Halloween, Syracuse University's Department of Public Safety arrested a man who stole a laptop from a school building by dressing up as a construction worker as nearby renovations were underway, the Daily Orange reports. "But Officer, I was just trying on my Village People costume...."