Nutcracker, Bushwhacker, Yankees Backer

Celine Dion's "You and I," the campaign tune selected for Sen. Hillary Clinton's White House bid, isn't the candidate's only theme song. With much more punch, the makers of the wickedly new "Hillary Nutcracker" have written their own, and there is only one sentence to it: "She's a nutcracker, bushwhacker, Yankees backer, don't you play hardball with her." When we first heard of this crazy gift, we called up the maker to see if it was just an Internet gag. As you can see in Gibson Carothers's letter, it is the real McCoy.

Further proof: He sent us the one pictured and included a tube of "Hillary Nuts," big walnuts. Better yet, the company has put up a video on YouTube that includes yet another theme song and cameos from Democrats and Republicans.