Win a Date With Alan Greenspan!

So what if you're several months behind on your mortgage? Here's a chance for the ladies to use that stimulus check for something special:

In a move likely to send shock waves through his massive female fan base, former Federal Reserve chief and noted party animal Alan Greenspan has made himself available on a charity auction.

No word yet on how much—if any—additional server capacity was added to handle what is likely to be a surge of bidding for a date with Greenspan, who, even at 82, remains a surprisingly popular pinup boy for women of all ages.

But unfortunately, ladies, Greenspan will not be alone. His wife—veteran NBC talking head Andrea Mitchell—will be in attendance as well. The date is officially billed as "Tea and Subprime Sympathy with Alan Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell at The Four Seasons in Washington, D.C."

The leading bid is currently about $16,000, meaning you'll need to buck up $18,500 to put yourself in the lead. The proceeds will support the Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Auction.

In recent months, Greenspan has grown increasingly defensive about his once stellar image, now sullied by the housing crisis and accusations from critics that Fed interest rate cuts created a housing-price bubble.

If your home has lost tens of thousands of dollars in value and your mortgage payment has climbed by $1,000 a month, you can hear Greenspan defend himself to your face for just under $20,000.

If you were a real Greenspan fan, of course, you wouldn't complain.

Big thanks to the Big Picture for the link.