Sunday, November 8, 2009

Opinion

Sam Dealey

Who's Your Daddy?

August 11, 2008 06:58 PM ET | Sam Dealey | Permanent Link | Print

Yesterday Robert Gordon, the attorney for John Edwards' videographic vixen Rielle Hunter, issued a response to media howls for a paternity test. Edwards, you'll recall, has admitted to having an affair with Hunter, but claims the child was actually fathered by one of his aides. Both Hunter and the aide, Andrew Young, have allegedly come into a lot of cash from a generous Edwards campaign supporter. And Edwards himself was so overjoyed that his mistress had a baby (not his) that he flew clear across the country to pay a middle-of-the-night visit to her Beverly Hills hotel room so he could cuddle Hunter's (not his) baby.

Anyways, back to the attorney's statement:

Rielle is a private individual. She is not running for public office. She wishes to maintain her privacy and her daughter's privacy. Rielle is therefore making no statement now or in the future. Furthermore, Rielle will not participate in DNA testing or any other invasion of her or her daughter's privacy now or in the future.

Strong, concise stuff, that. Alas, there's just one line missing: The paternity test also is not necessary because the identity of the kid's father is known.

Tags: John Edwards

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Reader Comments

OPEN LETTER TO JOHN EDWARDS

OPEN LETTER TO JOHN EDWARDS

August 11, 2008

Dear Mr. Edwards:

In your statement you say “I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."

Quite candidly, you state "I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic."

Many offending professionals are diagnosed with narcissistic tendencies and narcissism.

For more than 30 years experts have studied professionals committing sexual misconduct. It began with therapists and psychiatrists; however, any professional in a position of power, authority and trust is at risk and carries a violation potential. This violation potential increases and professional boundaries become blurred when the professional experiences life struggles such as death of a loved one, marital boredom or troubles, acceptance of aging, illness, career difficulties, or any number of issues that we all experience in various times in our lives.

The difference between us and a trusted helping professional is the power and authority they possess and the inherent trust we have in them to act in our best interest.

Whether it is our country’s leader, or our state senator or governor, or our county district attorney, or our city mayor, our lawyer, doctor, or mental healthcare provider, or teacher, or pastor, or priest, our professionals are failing us. Trust is near non-existent. Ethics and professional boundaries are in place to protect the public and the professional and profession. We have become a nation of “anything goes; no matter the harm.”

Mr. Edwards, you say you will help others. You seem to understand the psychodynamics of your misconduct. Do you also understand that because Ms. Hunter was employed under your power and authority that she had no consent to the exploitive relationship you entered her into? Do you understand that by abusing your power and authority over her that you caused emotional harm to her? Does it make sense to you that she trusted you; cared for you; idolized you? Is she destined now to be cast aside and further exploited by media and public mentalities that simply do not understand that the responsibility to maintain professional ethics and boundaries lies with you and not Ms. Hunter? Will she suffer the same fate as Ms. Lewinsky? Will she be written into history as the “jilted lover?”

This mentality must stop. The victims of this egregious form of abuse are misunderstood, minimized, ignored, isolated, disparaged, and forgotten. Our lawmakers, such as you, provided legislation in the late 80s and early to mid 90s in nearly all states for victims of certain helping professions to strengthen professional rules and laws. But, Mr. Edwards, these rules and laws will never be enough unless there is preventative education and awareness.

Let me ask you, Mr. Edwards, have you ever taken a professional boundaries continuing education course? Of course not. There are none. However, your actions could make you the subject of disciplinary action by your own regulatory agency.

Does it make sense that despite the lack of professional boundary education, you can be disciplined and required to undergo assessment, treatment, and rehabilitation? Does it not raise the question of why this education is not provided prior to an offense instead of after harm has already occurred?

We see no reduction in the number of staffers, clients, patients, students, or congregants seeking our assistance to help them understand the abuse they have endured.

Over the past several years, we have witnessed a deterioration of resources. Regulatory agencies inconsistently and oftentimes inadequately discipline offending licensees; malpractice insurance excludes sexual misconduct from policies claiming it as an intentional act; and with states enacting tort reform, attorneys are economically prohibited from filing lawsuits that could provide the resources needed for victims to, at the very least, pay for the psychological treatment needed to overcome the emotional harm they have endured.

So, Mr. Edwards, if you really want to help others, we are respectfully requesting that you take this unfortunate opportunity and turn it into one that will aid in restoring the public’s trust in our country’s leaders. It might not be all the answers, but it’s a start. We can no longer rely on a professional’s integrity to do no harm.

There are 10 to 15% of professionals that commit sexual misconduct. Whether or not there are repeat offenses or multiple victims is unknown to those studying offending professionals. Based on the many thousands of victims we assist, the numbers must actually be staggering.

We welcome your involved commitment to work with everything you have to help others that need your help.

Kindest regards,

Cindy Boling

President/CEO

AdvocateWeb

www.advocateweb.org

Faculty Member

Professional Boundaries, Inc.

www.professionalboundaries.com

Rielle Hunters Friend

I had the TV on this morning when I was getting ready for work. I was listening to Early Show one of Rielle Hunter friends was being interviewed and standing up for her. The interviewer states that it has been said that Rielle had a fatal attraction type personality..Her friend came back stating that was not at all true and that Rielle was a person of integrity. It was reminder that I had yet to take my high blood pressure meds...My blood started to BOIL I am sorry a person with integrity DOES NOT sleep with married men..Shame on John Edwards for his infidelity. BUT I am so tierd of women jumping on married men and crying victim down the road..THE VICTIMS in this mess are the Edwards CHILDREN, his wife.Elizabeth and the Child(Rielle's daughter) who does not who her DADDY IS.....

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Sam Dealey is a contributing editor at U.S. News & World Report and Reader's Digest. He has written for many publications, including Time, GQ, the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.

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