Dick Cheney Issues New Terror Threat--the Former Vice President Shows His Farcical Side
By Robert Schlesinger, Thomas Jefferson Street blog
When last we saw Dick Cheney, he looked like a caricature of a movie villain. He was apparently not satisfied with the mere image of caricature, but decided to prove it by opening his mouth in an interview with Politico.
So the reclusive villain has emerged from his shadowy lair to issue a new videotaped warning of impending terrorist attacks.
And as with many caricatures, his latest appearance (in an interview with Politico) is a (perhaps not intentional) comedic triumph.
His main message: Bin Ladin [sic] determined to strike in US. (Wait, where have we heard that before?)
Of course, he was quick to take credit for the lack of such attacks in the United States (just ignore the ones around the rest of the world) over the last seven years.
"If it hadn't been for what we did—with respect to the terrorist surveillance program, or enhanced interrogation techniques for high-value detainees, the Patriot Act, and so forth—then we would have been attacked again," he said. "Those policies we put in place, in my opinion, were absolutely crucial to getting us through the last seven-plus years without a major-casualty attack on the U.S."
You'll just have to take Cheney's word for it. What's that? The former vice president is known for being full of something other than credibility?
He expressed confidence that files will someday be publicly accessible offering specific evidence that waterboarding and other policies he promoted—over sharp internal dissent from colleagues and harsh public criticism—were directly responsible for averting new September 11-style attacks.
Ah, that famous Cheney humor—the notion that he would ever favor the release of any documents pertaining to anything, let alone national security, is a gut-buster.
Not content to wait for a historical verdict, Cheney said he is set to plunge into his own memoirs, feeling liberated to describe behind-the-scenes roles over several decades in government now that the "statute of limitations has expired" on many of the most sensitive episodes.
The "statute of limitations" quip was undoubtedly a joke—we all know that his execu-legislative authorities put Cheney beyond the grasp of mere laws.
Cheney embraced another caricature as well—if anyone doubted that Machiavelli was his guiding political philosopher, check out this gem:
"The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that requires us to take actions that generate controversy. I'm not at all sure that that's what the Obama administration believes."
And speaking of caricatures, while he may have as vice president ruled a secret underground lair, Cheney now is relegated to the kind of surreal office space that one would expect Mike Myers to put Dr. Evil into for the start of the next Austin powers flick:
If Cheney's language was dramatic, the setting for the comments was almost bizarrely pedestrian. His office is in a non-descript suburban office building in McLean, Va., in a suite that could just as easily house a dental clinic. The office is across the hall from a quick-copy store. The door is marked by nothing except a paper sign, held up by tape, saying the unit is occupied by the General Services Administration.
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Reader Comments
Maginot Line.
"His main message: Bin Ladin [sic] determined to strike in US. (Wait, where have we heard that before?)"
I take it you thought this was somehow funny, Mr. Schlesinger? I for one am not amused. I don't think I would have been amused about Pearl Harbor if I was around then either. What exactly is the basis for your sarcasm? Do you think Bin Laden has turned over a new leaf, or do you think that he is no longer a threat? If it is the latter, who do you credit for our new found security? The French once felt secure behind the Maginot Line, but failed to recognize the changing face of warfare. The Trojans felt secure behind their walls, but let down their guard and were defeated by treachery. So unless every jihadist has given up their quest, it would be wise for Mr.Obama to heed Mr. Cheney's advice. If there's another terrorist attack on American soil in his first term he will lose in 2012 by a landslide.
This Dick is the true terrorist
and I don't believe him anymore; in sharp contrast to a time when I once did. He's as much threatening the American people with a 911-style attack as he is warning us. I have learned a lot over the last, say five years. I wouldn't trust this Dick to tell me what time it was. I have extreme distrust for him, those in with him, those like him and those who would apologize for him. I hold these guys in UTTER CONTEMPT.
I can't believe Dick is running his mouth at all, let alone so soon after he left town with his tail between his legs. He loves to watch things die, but only from a good safe distance, both of which absolutely turn my stomach. He is a coward and a complete fraud. Dick Cheney is the POLAR OPPOSITE of anything good, true, just, pure or Christian.
I can't believe people walking around loose would still continue to cower at this wretched creature's feet, and continue to apologize for their blatant war profiteering. His force-drunk, shameless manipulation can be DEMONSTRATED. I can't believe BushCo is literally "pushing" a legacy that doesn't end in their hanging for treason against this country by way of a bonafide propaganda project, the centerpiece of which is that three THOUSAND Americans were killed ONLY ONCE. The truth doesn't even stop there; being responsible for almost a 50% increase of THAT body count based on a lie that they all KNEW was a lie - Iraq. DickCo USED the good will of his countrymen to advance his NECESSARILY private agenda; an agenda that filled his pockets, NECESSARILY resulting in even more deaths of good Americans whose trust he exploited.
Dick, your adminstration is exposed. It was not even EVER secretly awesome. You and your buddies WRECKED my country. I am not afraid of you anymore, and oh, what I wouldn't give for 15 minutes alone in a room with you. SCREW YOU, YOU DICK. GET AWAY FROM ME, AND NEVER ATTEMPT TO POISON MY THOUGHTS OR FUEL MY NIGHTMARES AGAIN.
Dick is the true terrorist.
# the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ...
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
# The deliberate commission of an act of violence to create an emotional response from the victim in the furtherance of a political or social agenda ...
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/terrorism
Late Post
Just read your article -- sounds like you're saying either the threat didn't exist (all in our minds) or it doesn't currently exist. Which is it? I want to put the word out to the troops that they can all come home...just a misunderstanding.
I know we're having a great deal of success with the "uncharged" terrorists we've released from GTMO. If you're going to laugh about something, isn't that pretty funny?
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