Why a Job Interview Is Like a Date
I see too many job applicants who approach the interview as if their only goal is to win a job offer, losing sight of the fact that this can land them in the wrong job—a job they won't enjoy, a job they'll struggle in, or even a job they might get fired from.
Yes, it's nerve-wracking to feel scrutinized by an interviewer, and a natural response is to want to measure up. But the wiser goal is to focus on learning whether you're a mutual match—emphasis on mutual. Think of it like dating: If you approached every date determined to make your date fall for you, you'd miss important cues about whether or not you were right for each other.
This means being honest about your strengths and weaknesses and giving the hiring manager a glimpse of the real you, so she can make an informed decision about how well you'd do in the job. It also means interviewing the interviewer, asking questions to figure out things like: Is the work well aligned with your strengths—your real ones, not the ones you puffed up in your cover letter? Is the environment one you'll thrive in or one that will drive you over the edge? Is the manager someone you'd want to work with? Or is she flaky and disorganized? An unreasonable tyrant? A wimp who can't get things done?
If you get offered and accept the job, you're going to be doing this work with these people, all day, every day. Your goal is to find out if you can do it well and happily—not to get the job at all costs.
Alison Green is chief of staff for a medium-sized nonprofit, where she oversees day-to-day management of the staff, as well as hiring, firing, and staff development. She is working with the Management Center to coauthor a book on nonprofit management. Her writings have been published in the Washington Post, the New York Times, Maxim, and dozens of other newspapers. She blogs at Ask a Manager.
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Reader Comments
Very true...
I'm an MBA student, and too often, the focus is on I MUST GET THE JOB AT ALL COSTS... and then (whether it is internship or full-time recruiting), the former student has attained a job with which he/she is completely dissatisfied.
Additionally, if one views the interview as, "I am going to learn about the company, and they will learn about me," the inteviewee will be considerably less nervous, more conversational -- a win-win! Good post!
Hella insightful
This makes for sound advice, whether you're looking for a job or a significant other. If you're not honest with yourself and others, you're not going to end up in a good job or with a good relationship.
Well put!
The dating metaphor is perfect. Some time ago I interviewed for a well-payed writing job at a medium-sized nonprofit. After multiple interviews I was told that I didn't get the job. Strangely, I felt relieved. I realized that I would have hated and probably been terrible at the position. But all I really just wanted to do was "score"! Good thing I didn't.
Good Advice
Good advice - both in terms of dating and job interviewing. And the combination makes reading about a sometimes boring and tedious subject (job hunting) much more interesting!
Honestly just not realistic
If we could all approach an interview like a date, that would be great, but in the real world the rent gets paid if we're single, but not if we're unemployed. If you are in high demand and expect multiple job offers, well then by all means. But the vast majority of us aren't in that position and have to fight for every job we're lucky enough to get an interview for and should be telling people why they should hire us, not why they shouldn't.
Right on target
Your posting is right on target. With the stress of day to day life these days you should not purposely set yourself up to fail. Being "fake" just to get a job isn't worth it - especially in the long run. You don't help yourself or the company - both take at least one step backwards when a new hire goes wrong. The company is hurt financially and the other employees are hurt by the wrong hires bad fit. The new hire is hurt in lost time, lost opportunities that they could have taken, stress and a bad reference and spot on their record. By branding yourself correctly from the beginning you attract the right type of companies and repel the wrong type. Be honest and respect yourself - don't sell yourself short.
Desperation can hinder proceedings
All good points, but sometimes, like in dating, desperation can kick in, and even though you can tell the job might not be perfect, you're afraid the perfect job will never come. You end up with slutty job hunters, going to job interviews to bolster self worth.
Keeping it real
It took over 10 years for me to realize this simple fact...that I am interviewing my next boss! I had gone as far as to wear wigs and clothes that I would never wear to work to an interview. I am so grateful I have been freed from that school of thought.
Thanks for the article and congrats on your gig! Check me out at AskMrsHR.blogspot.com. I'm still a blogging baby.
Agree except for one thing
I agree that it's really important to evaluate the job, the company, the type of work you'll be doing, and your future boss. The one thing I disagree with is that you shouldn't try to get the job at all costs.
As a consultant for the past 13+ years, I try to get every gig that comes my way. I certainly don't take them all (or even get offered all of them), but I do try to get even the gigs I know I don't want from the start. The reason is networking.
Networking is the most important thing you can do when looking for a job. If you make this employer/client want you, that means they really like you. If they offer you the job and you refuse and give them a good reason (like it's not a good match, not enough money, etc), they'll like you even more for being honest with them. Then they'll recommend you to their friends in other companies... or even colleagues in other departments in the same company. Those referrals are gold. When you get referred to someone, you've got an automatic in.
So I say go for all the jobs you can, but keep your eyes open. Make sure the decision is yours to make, not the employer's.
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job interview
I agree. Even a bad date serves the purpose of discovering you don't want to go out with the person again. An interview can say a lot about your perspective boss, and can help you weed out a bad fit.
May 05, 2008 14:46:16 PM [permalink] [report comment]