The Best Way to Stop Sexual Harassment
Editor's Note: Blogger Karen Burns posted a followup to this post. You can read it here.
It's a fact of life. Sexual harassment is never going to go away. You will always need to know how to deal with it.
First and foremost, don't allow it freak you out. Remaining calm is the best way to hang on to your power, and sexual harassment is all about power.
You have a choice of responses when a person of the opposite (or not) sex makes untoward advances. You can give him/her the evil eye and say: "I'm sorry? I didn't hear you." Or even: "Do you mind repeating that?" You can threaten to report the incident to the powers that be. You can ignore the advances, although this seldom works. You can just simply say, "Cut it out."
Or you can employ Working Girl's very favorite, and supereffective, way to stop sexual harassment in its tracks: You can laugh.
Laughter as a weapon comes in five flavors:
1. Scornful laughter. As in: "Right. In your dreams."
2. Incredulous laughter. As in: "Ha. You can't be serious."
3. Bemused laughter. As in: "I can't believe you just said that, and, as a favor to you, I'm going to pretend it didn't happen."
4. Faux-sympathetic laughter. As in: "Poor you. You really need to get a life, don't you?"
5. Diabolical laughter. As in: "Great! I've been waiting for you to make a stupid mistake like this."
Laughter confuses the harasser, reversing the whole dynamic in your favor. Try it. You'll see.
Karen Burns, Working Girl, is the author of The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use, to be released by Running Press in April 2009. She blogs at karenburnsworkinggirl.com.
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Reader Comments
Laughter and Sexual Harassment
As a Human Resources executive with over 20 years of experience, I have to agree with Linda Gordon Howard's advice on handling unwelcome behavior in the workplace. One of the best ways to prevent sexual harassment is to stop it when it occurs. Masking it under the pretense of laughter, although well-intentioned, may only cause further confusion and muddy the waters. Women should let the harasser know that the behavior is unacceptable, when it happens. They can be polite, direct, but firm.
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission encourages victims of harassment to always confront the alleged harasser first, if at all possible. Let the individual know that the behavior will not be tolerated, and that it most likely is inconsistent with company policies. Only if the victim cannot confront the alleged harasser or if the notification is unsuccessful should the victim then proceed with filing a company complaint through usual grievance mechanisms established within the organization.
I have a lot more information on this that I'll be posting on a new website we just launched yesterday (it's very new) at yahoo at www.stopworkplaceharassment.com. We'll be hosting a women to women site that shares women's stories and experiences with sexual harassment, and we'll be providing resources and education designed to get help for those affected by this silent pain.
I'm also bringing in guest authors to write about specific topics that addresses the women's experiences. Everyone should feel free to write to us. I'll be writing back to each blogger personally. Thanks.
Best way to stop Sexual harrassment
Congratulations to Linda Gordon Howard, who knows how to effectively stop sexual harrassment. I totally disagree with Karen Burns suggestions. It's condescending and appears very out dated advice. The only other option I would suggest, if you don't want to take Linda's professional advice, is threaten to call his wife. Most of the harrassers are married.
Harassers are clueless
I agree with the theory that someone who is bold enough to sexually harass you in the workplace, is someone who does not pick up on normal social cues.
Case in point: a male co-worker who had a crush on me thought I was really cute and would say as much to me at the office. I told him that I really just wanted to keep our relationship professional (being that I was his supervisor) so he decided to continue these conversations by instant messaging me from his home computer instead.
I reported this to my boss and refused to work with this guy for the rest of his contract. No formal action was taken, but the guy was eventually turned down for permanent hire at my company and left.
Moral of the story: be as clear as you can that you will not tolerate this behavior (even if it is painfully embarassing or uncomfortable) and then do your best to steer clear of your harasser.
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