Sex, Lies, and Looks: What Women Think About Deception
Two months ago, I posted a blog about why women lie, and, boy, did I get some heated comments (like this one)! Some readers accused me of being less than honest, and others questioned my contention that women and men lie for different reasons. I responded with my own comment questioning whether we will ever get to the real truth about lying. Well, the website BettyConfidential.com tried to do just that by asking its female members to fill out a survey on lying. The results were released today. Only 33 women completed the survey, so I'd hardly call it a scientific snapshot. Still, the list of questions was pretty comprehensive, and I was surprised at some of the things these women were admitting, such as:
- One third find it "perfectly acceptable" to lie to strangers, though they lie most frequently to coworkers.
- More than half of the respondents said they don't feel that withholding information is a lie.
- Weight is the topic most commonly fibbed about; nearly 70 percent of the respondents said their driver's license weight is not correct.
Why do women lie? For various reasons, according to this survey, such as to improve a situation or spare someone's feelings. Nearly 1 in 7 respondents, though, said she lies to keep herself out of trouble. When asked why they don't lie more often, nearly three quarters of the women said because "it's the wrong thing to do," though some admitted that it was because they were just too bad at it.
When it comes to men lying, the survey respondents had their own notions about what was acceptable. The majority said it's OK for a man to lie to her about how she looks. (I suppose that's assuming it's a complimentary lie.) Nearly half said it's fine for him to lie about his attraction to other women, and 40 percent said ditto for her performance in bed. What shouldn't a man lie about? His feelings, particularly about love, said nearly all of the respondents. In fact, that lie was identified as the very worst lie a man could tell. One respondent elaborated that the I-love-you-completely lie hurts like hell when you find out "he has another family in another state and has been living two lives."
Before you go repeating these statistics, though, remember that surveys can lie, too—especially when they are as small and unscientific as this one. What's more, one third of the respondents told BettyConfidential that they weren't completely honest with their answers. Hmm. How do I know they're not lying about lying? I'd like to know what you think. Do these results reflect what most women think about lying? Or is this sample of just 33 Web users misleading?
Tags: behavior
Tools: 
Share
|
| Comments (3) | Print
Reader Comments
Lying Survey - BettyConfidential.com
Very interesting....I always wondered whether many of my friends are telling the truth, and now I better understand what is going on.
But what is truth?
Before we get into arguments over lying, we must first agree upon what truth is. All is opinion. If we define a lie as stating something that is contrary to one's opinion, then at least we know what lying is.
Factoring in opinions means dealing with another person's reality. That reality may or may not jive with your own. This means a person with a different opinion of reality may be telling the truth - AS THEY SEE IT - but it clashes with your own sense of what is real and, by extension, truthful. On the other hand, someone may lie in such a way that meshes with your own reality and you think they're being truthful. The 'meeting of minds' concept should be held out for the 'meeting of realities' instead, since we differ so much in what is around us, how we see it and how others interact with it.
So, the question, why do we lie? can't be answered simply or easily. Indeed, in many cases it's NOT a lie to the person telling it. There is no such thing as an 'objective point of view' to reality - only an 'alternate point of view'. And because no two people's points of view are utterly identical, everyone has an alternate reality.
This isn't a needlessly existential post, by the way. It's an acknowledgment that, despite our common senses, not everyone agrees on what we're sensing. This means telling a lie is simply stating an opinion of reality contrary to what you believe. And given the nature of man, that's next to impossible to reliably and consistently detect.
Lying
Just because a person can ask you a Question .. does not mean that they should have / deserve an ( Honest ) Answer.
People...
#1 Ask Questions of people that quite frankly " Are NOT their Business " .. and their questions can be / are typically malicious or intrusive in nature.
#2 Further... Their Question to begin with is NOT Honest ... and they do Not reciprocate with an Honest Reply ... or even tell you WHY / the Reason they have asked the Question. Typically . thay say ( dishonestly ) .. OH Nothing / Or Just wondering .. they do not "Come clean / Honest " as to the True intent of their Question.
I continually " remind " my Parents that their Teaching of Honesty is the Best Policy ( much like.... Respect Authority ) is not a Blanket Policy that should be applied to Every Instance / Question asked of You ...
In fact... to follow a Blanket " Honest Policy " will only go against you in a World that is basically DisHonest ...
I am sorry to say that ... rather than approach People with an Attitude of Innocent til proven Guilty .. it is often best .. to approach ( although politely ) with Guilty till Proven Innocent.
to give a person YOUR Honesty must be earned by that Person.
Add your thoughts
Your comment will be posted immediately, unless it is spam or contains profanity. For more information, please see our Comments FAQ.advertisement
