Yours, Mine, Ours

I was disappointed that your series on marriage and finances seemed to encourage separate accounts while making no mention of a household budget as a way to manage family income ["Accountability: His and Hers," October 8].

Marriage is about two people becoming one, and that includes finances. My husband and I have a budget that includes his hobbies, my hobbies, and my personal care and beauty items. Neither of us worries about what the other spends because we have planned for needs and wants. We have a small amount of shared discretionary money, as well as personal allowances that we can spend as we please. We keep track of our expenses and make decisions together when larger unexpected needs or wants arise. This approach facilitates communication, mutual responsibility, transparency, teamwork, and trust, and it gives our household a sense of unity and shared purpose—all things that go into a good marriage.

Kim Schneider
Watertown, Wis.

Clearly, state laws pertaining to divorce are out of date when it comes to people of substantial means who remarry and are finished having children. The idea of compromising or jeopardizing control over one's assets is not necessary. Marriage can be replaced by the live-in practice, but with the improvements that come from being financially well off. Having lost my wife of 27 years last year, I feel no strong motivation at this point to turn any good adult relationship into a marriage. I know unmarried couples with long-standing exclusive relationships. Each maintains his and her own living quarters. They enjoy all the fruits of their relationship without any of the unnecessary pitfalls upon which your article focuses.

Maurice L. Adams Jr.
Chagrin Falls, Ohio