Thursday, November 26, 2009

Opinion

John Aloysius Farrell

'Post' and 'Times' a World Apart in Reporting on U.S. Policy Toward Israel, Iran

January 16, 2009 11:37 AM ET | John Aloysius Farrell | Permanent Link | Print

By John Aloysius Farrell, Thomas Jefferson Street blog

This business of diplomacy is all about nuance.

Aside from, perhaps, the Federal Reserve, there may be no place in Washington where more is done with winks and nods, and reporters are required to read the tea leaves.

So I groaned when I picked up the New York Times this week and discovered that Hillary Clinton had "struck a sharper tone toward Israel" in her confirmation hearing.

I was at that hearing, reporting for GlobalPost.com. What had I missed?

I remember Clinton saying that the incoming Obama administration was upset by the "tragic humanitarian costs" suffered by both Israelis and Palestinians. And that the suffering must "increase our determination to seek a just and lasting peace agreement."

How, I wondered, could these boilerplate phrases represent "a sharper tone" toward Israel?

The Times explained: "Her emphasis on the civilian costs of the violence in Gaza suggested that the incoming administration might be more inclined than President Bush has been to urge restraint on the Israelis."

Hmmm. "Suggested." "Might."

So, if I get this right, any mention by an American official of human suffering in the Middle East is a rebuke of Israel—even if the Israelis are included among the suffering humans.

I turned to the Washington Post. Surely its expert reporters would further explain.

But, no, the account in the Post said that the "dramatic shift in U.S. foreign policy" conveyed by Clinton was not her being tough on Israel—it was her declaration to "engage directly" with Iran.

Wait a minute. Obama has been saying this for months. I went back to the Times where I found—not a word about the "dramatic" shift in U.S. policy toward Iran.

Back to the Pos t. Not a word about striking a sharper tone toward Israel.

Indeed, the Post went out of its way to declare that Clinton had struck no new tone regarding Israel and, if anything, had reaffirmed a tough U.S. stance against Hamas.

I poured another cup of coffee.

And concluded that I'm feeling much better about covering diplomacy.

Tags: Iran | Israel | Middle East | media

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A TREATISE ON THE NEED FOR A SEMITIC MODERN MASTURBATION MENTALITY

By Rebbe Moshe “hung so lo“ Rabeynu, March 23, 2009

comments

CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS MUST BE INCULCATED AS TO THE BENEFITS OF MASTURBATION IN THE ATTAINMENT AND MAINTENANCE OF A HEALTHY MIND AND A HEALTHY BODY! PENT UP SEXUAL FRUSTRATION IN CHILDREN HAS NEVER BEEN HONESTLY AND ADEQUATELY DISCUSSED AND DEALT WITH IN JEWISH DISCOURSE AND DOCTRINE. MODERN LIFESTYLES AFFORD INDIVIDUALS THE PRIVACY AND HYGIENIC FACILITIES NECESSARY TO MASTURBATE IN A PRIVATE, DIGNIFIED AND SANITARY MANNER. ONE CAN WELL UNDERSTAND THE IRE THAT WAS AROUSED BY MASTURBATING INDIVIDUALS FOUR THOUSAND YEARS AGO WHEN AN ENTIRE LARGE FAMILY LIVED TOGETHER IN A TENT IN AN ARID LOCATION. NOBODY WANTED TO HAVE A WAD OF FLYING JISSUM HIT HIM IN THE EYE OR LAND IN HIS HUMUS. WATER WAS SCARCE AND ONE HAD TO WALK , SOMETIMES LONG DISTANCES, TO THE WELL TO GET IT, IF IT WAS AVAILABLE AT ALL. UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES IT WAS A CHOICE OF WATER FOR DRINKING OR WATER FOR WASHING EJACULATE OFF OF ONE’S HANDS. THIS IS WHY THE EARLY SAGES WERE SO VOCIFEROUS IN THEIR CONDEMNATION OF MASTURBATION. WE JEWISH PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A HORNY BUNCH AND, IF THERE WEREN'T THESE SEVERE STRICTURES AGAINST MASTURBATION AT THAT TIME, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN ERRANT CUMSTAINS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THE SMELL OF FRESHLY RELEASED JISSUM WOULD HAVE WAFTED FAR AND WIDE, EVEN WITHIN THE HALLOWED HALLWAYS OF THE SACRED TEMPLE ITSELF. TIMES HAVE CHANGED. IF PARENTS TODAY STRESS THE BENEFITS OF MASTURBATION TO THEIR CHILDREN, THEY WILL HELP LESSEN THE OCCURRENCE OF STDs, AND UNPLANNED PREGNANCIES. SCHOLARSHIP LEVELS WOULD INCREASE DRAMATICALLY WITH THE RELEASE OF PENT UP ADOLESCENT EJACULATORY TENSION.. IF NECESSARY, PARENTS SHOULD SET AN EXAMPLE FOR THEIR CHILDREN AS TO THE PROPER METHODOLOGY FOR THIS ACTIVITY AND FOLLOW UP AND MAKE SURE THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE MASTURBATING REGULARLY AT AN OPTIMUM FREQUENCY. KEEPING A MASTURBATION DIARY COULD BE A VERY USEFUL TOOL IN MAINTAINING THE PROPER SCHEDULE. EVERY PARENT SHOULD ASK HIS CHILDREN ON A DAILY BASIS, "DID YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND MASTURBATE TODAY?" OH, OF COURSE, THE CHABADNIKS AND THE FRUMNIKS WILL YELL OUT, "BUT RAMBAM SAID THIS, AND RASHI SAID THAT AND RABBI AKIVA SAID THIS, AND THAT, ABOUT THE EVILS OF MASTURBATION." PROBABLY ALL THREE OF THEM WERE MASTURBATING WHILE THEY WERE WRITING THESE STRICTURES, ANOTHER CASE OF "DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO". WE MUST NOT CONTINUE TO LET OTHERS DO OUR THINKING FOR US UNDER THE GUISE OF RELIGIOUS EXPERTISE. SHALOM AND ZEI GEZUNT!

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John Aloysius Farrell is a contributing editor at U.S. News & World Report. An award-winning Washington reporter, he has written for The Boston Globe and The Denver Post and is the author of Tip O’Neill and the Democratic Century and an upcoming biography of the great American defense attorney, Clarence Darrow.

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