How Can Jenny Sanford Feel Sorry for the Mistress?
By Bonnie Erbe, Thomas Jefferson Street blog
South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford tells Vogue magazine she feels sorry for the Argentine woman who had an affair with her husband.
I'd love to run a national poll to find out whom Americans feel sorrier for—the wife or the mistress.
I feel equally sorry for both of them. I could never tolerate Jenny Sanford's position of being publicly wronged in such excruciating fashion—abused by her husband's need to tell and the media's need to repeat. Children or not, I'd be out the door.
Besides, what kind of a lesson is it to teach four sons that philandering is OK? I understand why some, maybe even many, wives stay with philandering husbands. (I know, I know, Secretary Clinton's name must be raised in this context.) But it wouldn't be tolerable for me.
Similarly, any woman who has an affair with a man she knows is married is looking for trouble. Same would be true of a man who has an affair with a married woman. You know from the start that the person is not trustworthy (unless that person has an open marriage, and that's a whole different blog entry), so why are you getting involved? Could it be due to low self-esteem, a desire to attain the unattainable, or a fear of deep involvement? I can't think of a single answer to that question that passes ethical muster.
What do you think?
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Tags: Mark Sanford
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Reader Comments
Really?
Ms Erbe, I dont mean to be rude, but having browsed through a number of your articles I find you remarkable obtuse (or purposely picking topics that will generate strong opinions)
Jenny Sanford is a smart lady who chose to show compassion as a way of wiping her hands of this entire sordid mess. How has that escaped you? She can either wade in hip deep and start issuing denunciations left, right and center of the moral fiber of both her husband and his mistress or she can quietly exit dignity relatively intact.
This is her personal matter and by her careful, controlled interviews designed to be uncontroversial, she has managed to keep it so.
The extent of her compassion or forgiveness for both Mr. Sanford and his mistress may be considerably different behind closed doors, but there is no reason she should allow herself to be dragged down in the public eye.
Gov. Sanford per Jesus Christ
Luke.17
[1] Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!
[2] It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
[3] Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and IF HE REPENTS, FORGIVE HIM.
Mark Sanford repented to the public.
Christians in the public must forgive him. I do.
Non-repenters towards God go to the fire.
How Can Jenny Sanford Feel Sorry for the Mistress?
As a marriage counselor who does a lot of affair recovery work I can tell you that there is the possibility for a beautiful story of redemption here if Mark Sanford will repent. So far he hasn't seemed repentant, but of course, I don't know what may be happening behind the scenes. If he does repent and the marriage is saved it will be a great example of repentance and grace and forgiveness for their sons. If he doesn't repent Jenny Sanford seems to me to be very capable of still writing a good story for her sons. They'll see a mother who handled this with integrity and beauty and strength.
If you want to read some excellent material from a couple who recovered from an affair go here: http://www.marriagesrestored.com/marriages/2009/08/your-jesus-is-too-safe.html. They're good friends of mine whom God is using mightily.
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