We're Child-Free, Not Childless
Reader Comments
Childfree vs. Childless
I am most certainly in support of the term "childfree" as opposed to "childless" in describing people who choose not to have children. The term "childless" is appropriate for people who want children, but do not (or cannot) have them for whatever reason. It is a term that implies lack or that one is missing something. This most definitely does not apply to people who choose not to have kids.
As a childfree person myself, I most certainly see my state as being free of children and all the hardship, sacrifice and burden having them entails. I also see my life as one that is more rich and more fulfilling because of the freedom I have - said freedom a direct result of having a life free of children.
For more on this topic, please visit my blog, Childfreedom.
http://childfreedom.blogspot.com/
Conscious Thought and Creativity vs Mindless Replication
Perhaps, the mindless among us can't imagine a life as something other than a vehicle for DNA through space/time. Perhaps, those who criticise us who don't mindlessly replicate, have no imagination and are incapable of any other form of "creativity" except to have sex without birth control, and essentially substitute the recombining of thier DNA as a vehicle for "creativity" which is procreation, and isn't a substitute for bringing into existance that which couldn't possibley come about through pre-programmed mindless molecular rearangement that was initiated 3 billion years before the first sentient life arose on this planet.
History seems full of individuals who actually chose either to not have a family, or, left them so they could develope in ways that tradition at the time would otherwise not allow them to.
Many more of us have chosen to become something other than DNA replicators, and as a matter of fact, believe that if enough of us stop reproducing, it will cause a "people shortage" and actually speed up the bio/nano tech revolution in which many of us hope to see before we are old and die, i.e., modification of the human form to a better one than nature evolved..
..think about that..
Are You Kidfree & Lovin' It?
Great article Bonnie, and I totally agree with you!...Mostly. I don't think a govt. entity like the U.S. Census Bureau should be changing "childless" to "childfree" and it doesn't offend me that they use this academic/clinical term to describe us. Certainly some of us wanted kids and some of us didn't, but "childfree" seems to offend many of those who wanted them but couldn't have them.
There's a whole group of people that fall somewhere in the middle, between "infertile and/or unhappy that they couldn't procreate" and those who "never wanted to be a parent." I've coined this group the "kidfree."
You are kidfree if - either by choice OR by chance - you did not have kids in this lifetime. If you are upset and pining about not having kids, you are still childless. If, in hindsight, you are happy about the lifestyle and opportunities being a non-parent has brought you, you are KIDFREE.
I am writing a book called "Kidfree & Lovin' It" that looks at the reasons we are relieved we don't have kids, as well as the issues we must face for being unchilded in a child-centric world. I have an online survey that over 2,700 adults without children around the world have taken. I invite you to take it too!
Just click on this link to take you there, and you can remain anonymous if you like:
http://tinyurl.com/Kidfree-Survey
Thanks, and enjoy!
Kidfree Kaye
www.kidfreeandlovinit.com
P.S. I don't expect the government to start calling us Kidfree, but it's certainly something we can call ourselves.
Hello??? Children ARE a burden. When a child comes into this world, as a baby, you have to clothe the child, feed the child, soothe the child, entertain the child, provide toys, etc., for the child raise it and even after 18 years, it may never leave or if they do, they may come back. Tell me how this is not a burden? A child is a burden on ALL resources - mental, emotional, spiritual, monetary, physical, etc.
I am CHILDFREE because I AM FREE FROM THE BURDEN OF HAVING A CHILD. Childfree people are often looked down upon because we CHOSE not to have children, whereas some others didn't even bother to THINK that there was a choice. Instead, they just went ahead and had a child or children. I'm willing to bet that there are more and more unhappy parents in the world than those who are happy. For example, Casey Anthony, Andrea Yates and many more people who kill their kids (or drop them off in Nebraska!) after they are born because they really don't want the responsibility, they have anger issues or some other reason (like wanting to go out to the club or crying too much).
At any rate, childless implies that someone wanted a child or children and could not have them. Two different meanings here.
Have a kid or don't have a kid - do whatever you want to do, but don't knock the CF for making the choice NOT TO PROCREATE!
The perfect place for CHILDFREE people to date: IdoNOTwantKids.com
Hi folks...
I am having a heck of a time finding people that do NOT have or want kids. Hence, I created the world's only 100% free CHILDFREE dating site:
www.IdoNOTwantKids.com
Child free dating. Instant full membership. No games.
( Just my way of trying to find, and helping others like me, find someone on this planet that does NOT have or want kids. )
Late comment, I know. But I disagree with Chris.
"Well, childless does mean without children. The way you are stating it, you're making it sound as though children are a burden and people wish to be free of them. Childless is the correct way to say you have no children."
Unless you are completely deluding yourself, children ARE a burden. Even parents who love their children very much can at times see them as a burden.
And as for people wishing to be free of them.... Yeah, that's pretty much it. Those of us who make a conscious decision to not have children DO wish to be free of them. Therefore, child-free is indeed more accurate than childless. Using the term "less" implies that we are missing something or feel incomplete. Believe me, I would feel more like I was missing something if I had to spend 24 hours a day worrying about the well-being of a kid. Thanks, but my husband and I have a wonderful relationship as it is. Why fix something that's not broken?
"The way you are stating it, you're making it sound as though children are a burden and people wish to be free of them."
Well, some of us that are CHILDFREE DO that think that way! Not everyone likes children or wants to be around them. If you want children and, for whatever reason, don't/can't have them - you are childless. If you do not want them, you have made a choice to be childfree.
Thank you!
I'm so glad to see more of this; to have more of the childfree lifestyle recognized and seen as a good thing. Not every person is meant to have children, not every person wants to have a child. Thank you for writing this. :D
Childfree
Dear Chris in AZ who wrote: "Well, childless does mean without children. The way you are stating it, you're making it sound as though children are a burden and people wish to be free of them. Childless is the correct way to say you have no children. "
ChildLESS means without children, yes, but the connotation is of being LESS of somehting you want or need. People who WANT children but cannot have them are childLESS. People who do not WANT them at all are childFREE.
The use of the term childFREE is by people who do not WANT children and are using that term for themselves - we are not saying that childrne are a burden or undesirable (or should be) for everyone - we are simply talking abut ourselves.
So, for someone like me who does not WANT children, YES, they would be a burden I whish to be free of.
Big surprise. A childfree person who doesn't want kids sees them as an undesirable burden. This is a problem for you, WHY, exactly?
It's not like I am saying that YOU should see children as a burden and wish to be free of them. I am talking about how *I* feel about my OWN life. For me, a person who doesn't WANT children, children ARE a burden that I whish to be free of - why is this a problem? *Gasp* as someone who doesn't want kids, they are an undesirable in my own life - this has WHAT to do with your life, exactly?
I honestly think that, to a lot of people, CF is a very neutral term. As mentioned above, in normal casual speech, childLESS refers to those who want to have children, but can’t (or can’t yet) have them, for whatever reason and childfree refers to people who don’t WANT them (and don’t consider themselves LESS anything).
On the other hand, it is true, that to some people it DOES imply freedom from a negative thing.
But why is this a problem?
When people are talking about being ‘childfree‘, as I see it, they are talking about their OWN LIVES. the people who use ‘childfree‘ as ‘freedom from something negative’ may be talking about (and defining) children as something negative, but they are doing this in the context of their own lives. They are saying that children are (or would be) something negative in THEIR LIVES.
I don’t think that this necessarily carries over to a characterisation of children as something that is negative in general and to the lives of everyone esle. They are not necessarily saying that children are (or should be) something negative to EVERYBODY ELSE.
To me, and FOR me, my use of the4 term childfree for myself DOES mean that I think that there is something “unwanted about children” - FOR ME. I would think that it is somehting of a truism (?) that for me, as a person who does not want children, children ARE unwanted. IMO, that sort of goes along with not wanting them!
Since having children would be a negative TO ME, then YES, childfree WOULD mean freedom from something negative - because FOR ME children WOULD BE a negative.
But I am talking ABOUT MYSELF - about MY OWN LIFE. The statement is about ME, NOT about the lives of any other person or even about children in general.
Freedom
" The way you are stating it, you're making it sound as though children are a burden and people wish to be free of them."
Exactly. I'm not sure about the others, as it is different for each person, but I myself am 'free' of children. They are a burden I do not want in my life. Hence being child-free.
Have all the kids you want, but it's my choice to not have them. Thank heavens.
