Single Women: An Ominous Demographic Shift

RE: Single Women

Interesting that the author would toot the horn of Baby Boomers. I see the problem of single women and single parents as a direct result of the "me first" culture propagated by Baby Boomers. Boomers, born with silver spoons in their mouths - off the heals of the prosperity from their hard-working, money-saving parents (who grew up in poverty and suffering). Boomers got the bright and liberal ideas of "me first", "sex now, marriage commitment later", and other eschewing of responsibility and culpability. That "me me me" culture grew and grew into a monster where Boomers got into relationships and marriages fast - then divorce, and in many times, repeat the cycle. Boomers' kids grew up seeing this pattern, practice it and pass it down to their kids- until we have the monster we have today.

I think the Boomers are the last group of people to be lambasting any generation over the issue of single women or single parents.

Bible Babble?

As a resident of the deep south, I think I can recognize Bible Babble when it has a flashing light and a siren: Bonnie, between this post quoting Baptist Press on the same level as the NYT, and your post about bringing more stigma to the unwed mothers of America, you sure sound like a Bible Babbler to me.

You may not be standing on the corner of Davis Highway and Brent Lane in Pensacola, FL, shouting at passing cars with a bible in your hands, but you can't fool us.

Enough with this Bible Babble nonsense. Our country needs real solutions based upon sound reasoning - not thinly disguised religion proposed as sound public policy.

Stigma isn't much fun when you are the one wearing it, now is it?

Single Parents

You have made your choices,we should try to understand why,and how to avoid the development if we disagee!

single parenthood

I do not think a generation of single parenthood will convince American women that marriage is the better choice. One needs only to look at the black community to see that one generation of single parenthood begot another.

I think if we want to see children raised within married families, then we have to model that example to our children and grandchildren. Not only do we have to model the example to the next generation, but we need to explain to them why we value our families. The primary purpose of the family is to provide the most stable and safe environment for all members of that family. That support system is an absolute treasure, and one that I am very lucky to have had as a child and to provide as a parent.

Before I respond to the article....

I have to respond to David of MT. "Jew-led feminists?" Really? I'm surprised you have access to electricity. And no, I'm not Jewish.

I think the single-mom causes poverty argument is backward: I believe that poverty is what creates many single mothers. Whether it's because they're originally married and the stresses of poverty cause a marriage to fail, or whether it's poverty's stress that increases the biological need to breed on both men's and women's part, I don't think the correlation is being interpreted correctly.

Marriage is a fairly recent socioeconomic phenomenon created to keep property inheritance straight, sugar-coated with romantic ideals of love and God. Let's not kid ourselves.

Who's looking?

No one has commented on media characterizations of single or married people. When we fill our minds with images, we tend to believe them, or at least consider that they might be true. A whole generation has worked hard to "elevate" women, only leaving them alone instead of in a fulfilling relationship. Additionally, friends don't stand by people who are hurting, they tell them to "grow up" and "get out" of relationships, rather than take the hard road to resolve problems instead of ignore them. We are lazy people, and we choose the low road. I agree, perhaps seeing the consequences will help, though conscious choices to support good relationships would be a great place to start. Start small...with people you know...

What's "ominous" about being single?

The line of thinking that women must be married in order to be fulfilled or happy is anachronistic at best. Marriage is not a guarantee that either men or women will find happiness in their lives; we all have the potential to live fulfilled lives as singe people. Ms. Erbe is embarrassing to her gender as the author of this article.

recently divorced

It's the lawyers stupid!

The Courts are the Problem

Why would a man want to get married in this environment? Aside from the reasons already given, should he annoy her in any way, she can humiliate and rob him in the courts. He will lose AT LEAST half (usually more) of everything he has worked for and is yet to work for until the youngest child is 18. Guess who has protested this more effectively then anyone else? The SECOND wives who have poverty-stricken husbands two thirds of whose income goes to the first. This is so even if the first was an adulterous crack-head and whether or not the man had any fault.

Those who complain about "nanny-state" need to deal with this. Marriage is not the governments business. People should be free to co-habit (marry) on any terms they wish. Why is it mandatory to co-mingle all of your property just to try out marriage? That above all else is what is killing marriage.

Who's to blame?

Well I think blame lies at every corner. I am a 28 year old single male. I have never fathered any children. Now as for women I believe wholeheartedly where their blame comes into play, is their choices of a mate. I was raised to treat women with respect, and to be as polite as possible to any and every woman you meet. The problem with that is that young women today do not respect, respect. There are too many women who fall for the bad boy image and end up with just that a degenerate who runs at the thought of being a father. If women would stop dating, or worse having sex with these men they wouldn't exist. I have in the past 2 years stopped treating women with respect (i.e. holding doors for them, offering to carry heavy things, and so forth. Now I just ignore them and that has seemed to get me more dates than treating them with respect. Now men as a whole do need to grow up and take responsabilty, if you get a girl pregnant 'man-up' so to say and be a man and provide for your new family.