The Financial Risks of Online Dating
A reader recently reminded me why dating websites are not always worth their monthly fees. She writes that since she signed up for one over a month ago, she still has not found a suitable match. Yet, as a senior, she says she would like online dating to work out since it is easier than trying to meet people in person. (And you don't have to be a senior for that to be true—few people enjoy trying to find dates in dark, loud bars.)
Online dating sites can work, but you have to be smart about it. The Better Business Bureau reported a sharp increase in complaints about dating websites earlier this year, and recommends being wary of advertisements that claim "exclusive" communities or other potential exaggerations.
I'm also going to share another tip, courtesy of a friend who found her own serious boyfriend online after trying out two different dating websites. For a first meet-up, stick with short coffee dates, she says. You'll often know within the first 10 minutes whether you click with someone, and if you don't, there's no point in wasting time and money to find out just how badly you are matched.
Readers, please share any other online dating tips below—learning the hard way is too expensive.
Tags: personal finance | relationships | websites
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Reader Comments
Online Dating is one of many ways to meet the one
Online dating has lost it's mystic. It's been around for awhile so many have tried it. A healthy approach is to try several different dating services to find the one that works for you. Also, get involved in activities and events for singles in your city. A good resource to find places to meet quality singles: http://www.singlesonthego.com
avoiding fraud
Wow, Joyce, that sounds awful. I'm sorry to hear about that.
And I agree with you Lynne -- trying various sources and comparing them is a great idea. Of course, you want to make sure those monthly charges don't add up to too much, but if it helps you find love, maybe the cost is worth it.
Online dating should be a lot more fun
I was on the Match.com startup team and spent ten years there as a spokesperson and dating expert. All of the first generation online dating sites have missed an important theme and failed to build any functionality around that theme. Dating is a social activity. In the offline world we commonly search for a mate with the help of our friends who provide insight, perspective, gossip and a little TLC all along the way. Half of all marriages in this country are the result of someone playing matchmaker for the couple.
Today's online dating sites exist in a social vacuum, which is why so much of the behavior on these sites is inappropriate or dishonest, and it's also why so many people have such a hard time finding an authentic person with whom to share a cup of coffee.
I left Match after ten years to start Engage.com, which is a social dating community. It's still free (not for long) and we're convinced singles will have a lot more fun searching for someone special on Engage than they will on other sites. On Engage friends vouch for your character, brag about you, vote on potential dates for you and make introductions for you.
Please don't give up on online dating. Sometimes it takes a little time to meet the right person. The trick is to have fun and feel good about your time on a site, even if you don't find love today. Love will come your way soon.
Trish McDermott
VP of Love
Engage.com
online dating for seniors
Hello, This is for Kim Palmer and I am still all so frustrated about Match.Com.. Still not one to even meet for a small cup of coffee, all the men that are to be my match have been there for such a while and probably getting older by the time I finally find one. I think the site does not stick to their promise of finding a men they are just interested in you signing up and will post of few photos of the guys to get you going and nothing happens. Connie
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TOGETHER DATING SERVICE
I also tried on line dating with no luck, (about $30 a month), and got suckered into signing a $4,000 contract with Together Dating Service with assurances that I was making an investment in my future happiness. Well now have I not met anyone, they have no one to match me with, I'm $4,000 poorer, and have a court case in the works. On line dating was a bargain compared to what I'm going through now with this unscrupulous Dating Service.
Joyce Brown
brown1532@bellsouth.net
Apr 02, 2008 10:33:56 AM [permalink] [report comment]