Handling Favoritism at Work
Most people have seen—and perhaps been on the wrong end of—blatant favoritism at some point in their careers. Maybe a new leader comes in from the outside and brings along an old team, pushing perfectly good employees into obsolescence. Or maybe you land in a job where your manager turns to a couple of go-to people for every decent project, leaving the rest of an able staff underutilized and disillusioned.
How do you keep your career humming along while you're stuck in the shadow of the boss's pet?
You start out by deciding that you will be the professional and polished one in this complex relationship, says Damian Birkel, founder of the nonprofit Professionals in Transition in Winston-Salem, N.C., and a veteran of the corporate trenches. Here are six ways to do just that:
1. Don't try to shoot down the favorite, no matter how tempting it might be to correct him in meetings or point out to the boss when he's way underqualified for that project you wanted, Birkel advises. At best, you're picking on the boss's buddy; at worst, you're questioning the boss's judgment about people. Neither one is going to gain you any ground.
2. Sit down with that boss as soon as possible and agree to a clear job description for you, Birkel says. To make the boss's job easier, have one at the ready for him or her to give feedback on.
3. Agree on some goals for you to accomplish over the next quarter or six months or year (or a combination of time frames). Make sure at least a few of them can be measured objectively—hitting sales or profit or cost-cutting targets, landing certain clients, or getting trained in particular new skills.
Hitting these goals gives you material you can use should you need to campaign for a promotion, project, or raise you want that you believe the boss is inclined to hand to one of the in-crowd. (For more on raises, click here.) It also gives you the means with which to defend yourself should one of the inner circle try to undermine you someday (if, say, he really wants that same promotion, project, or raise).
4. Find a champion who's at the same or higher level than your fickle manager and who can talk you up and suggest you for that plum assignment or title you want. If other people in the organization think highly of you, then it makes your boss look good to put you to good use in a visible way.
5. Get involved in the company beyond your immediate group by joining corporate committees or employee groups or lending your experience to colleagues in other departments when they ask for it. This will help you find that champion you need, boost your credibility beyond your boss's purview, and maybe lead to new opportunities with a better boss.
6. Buddy up to the boss where you can (taking care to keep your self-respect in the process). If you're at all interested in his or her favorite sport or hobby, give it a try so that you have something other than work to talk about when you find yourself sharing an elevator with the boss.
And when that boss does occasionally extend an invitation to lunch or drinks or Saturday golf to colleagues beyond a little clique, by all means, go! It's an opportunity to help the boss get to know you and see possibilities beyond the usual safe fallback people. (For more on schmoozing the boss, click here).
Of course, despite your best efforts, your career progress could slow down or flat-out stall during this manager's tenure. If you can't live with that, even for a short spell, then polish up your résumé and start looking for a new job, inside your company or elsewhere. (For more on when to leave a job, click here).
But if you do decide to sit tight and bide your time, take heart. "It's not a question of if but when that manager will be moved along or pushed out in the next reshuffling," Birkel says. "Then those favorites are back on equal footing with everyone else." If they can't settle in and thrive on their merits, they'll either follow their benefactor yet again or move on in some other way.
Reader Comments
Favoritism? Let me tell you...
I have more college and more manufacturing experience than all of the ladies in our company. Three of them are the bosses' favorites. One hasn't a clue about how to do her job. He told me that he gave her the job over me. "It's just your bad luck that my friend came to me about a job and I gave her this one." One can do no wrong. She's an accountant (a bad one) and a complete airhead. The other? She's just plain lazy. Spends all of her time planning her vacations or looking up her kids' school crap on the internet, and the boss is always taking her to lunch or dinner to gossip about everyone else. She tells him how busy she is (ha) and so I get dumped on with stuff she doesn't want to do. And any time anyone goes on vacation, guess what? I get to fill in for them. I know he respects my work ethic, he's said so to numerous people. So why doesn't he promote me or give me a decent raise? Seems like the harder you work, the more you get crapped on. I stay here because it's the only decent company in the town I live in. I can't afford to commute any more.
Favortism
6. Buddy up to the boss where you can (taking care to keep your self-respect in the process). If you're at all interested in his or her favorite sport or hobby, give it a try so that you have something other than work to talk about when you find yourself sharing an elevator with the boss.
Hard to buddy up with the boss when he is based oversea. The culture in my company is if you have a management title, then you are invited to join weekly telecon meetings and you have a chance for input. My direct manager takes credits for my suggestions and ideas for herself. It is an asian owned company which there are many layers of management and if your title is not AVP or above, it is hard to make yourself taken seriously.
Favoritism
Any don't neglect the family owned companies out there, I work for one. The family always comes first, whether it is extra time off or raises, or even a bonus. The family will always come first, you come in second every time. Even if you are more qualified, work harder, show up on time and wear more hats than anyone else in the office. It is a hard situation to be involved in and frankly, an impossible one to penetrate at any level. Been there, done that, am still here and like most people in the state of Michigan I am pretty much stuck here until something better opens up! Which may not happen for a very long while.
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