Office Line-O-Rama
Said the infamous Michael Scott, "I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third."
Not for us.
Michael's the most inadvertently hilarious and entertaining boss we wish we never had. What's the funniest thing he's ever said? We've started you off with a few of our favorites from the whole cast - Add your own below.
Michael: Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah, of course, a bunch of 'em, my employees. If I had to choose between a one night stand with some stupid cow I pick up in a bar and these people ... I pick them every time. Because with them, it is an everyday stand and I still know their names in the morning.
Pam: I get ten vacation days a year, and I try to hold off from taking them as long as possible, and this year I got to the third week in January.
Michael: Kevin, you are accused of making sexually suggestive remarks to Angela that make her uncomfortable. Solution: Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin that make him uncomfortable.
Dwight: ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at sixty pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
Jim: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left I took a box of Dwight's stationary. So, from time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future.
[as Jim reads the letter the camera cuts to Dwight reading]
'Dwight, at eight a.m. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, future Dwight.'
Dwight: Nooo! [knocks coffee out of Stanley's hand] You'll thank me later.
Michael: Business is like a jungle and I am like a tiger and Dwight is like a monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology.
Reader Comments
Strenght
Dwight: "When my mother was pregnant with me they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later they'd discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe that his tissues made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby."
Sales
Dwight: "And just as you have planted your seed in the ground. I am going to plant my seed in you."
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Imitating Dwight
Jim: "Question: What kind of bear is best?"
Dwight: "That's a ridiculous question."
Jim: "False. Black Bear."
Dwight: "That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought."
Jim: "Fact: Bears eat beets! BEARS! BEETS! BATTLE STAR GALACTICA!"
Superstitious
Michael: "I'm not superstitious, I'm just a little stitious."
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Depression
Michael: "Their are five stages to grief. Which are, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And right now out there they're all denying the fact that they're sad. And that's hard and it's making them all angry. And it is my job to try and get them all the way through to acceptance. And if not acceptance, then just depression. If I can get them depressed, then I've done my job."
Mar 25, 2008 17:30:29 PM [permalink] [report comment]